Talking ‘Bout Love

Blaugust 19th

Despite all my misfortunes of the past there’s no denying how fortunate I’ve become. My life is filled with love and I love thinking about how I got here. It was all an accident in a sense, but chalking it up to pure luck robs love of it’s meaning.

Murf inspired me to write this. He ranted about a love interest and it reminded me about how exciting that is, to adore someone and anticipate a future with them. Things go from “I’ll bet this person does [insert fantasy]” to “I love/hate it when they [insert habit]”. Its exciting to fall in love and to be in love, isn’t it?

The truth is I waited far too long to ask my wife out. We’d spent lots of time together as neighbors and friends in my early 20s. She was still in college and I was barely off the street. I had begun shacking with a few buddies of mine and found a small time job in those years at a grocery store. We shared rent on the place and shared pretty much everything else. We were still very much living in poverty, but at least we had a roof.

Anyway, Sarah was a busy body. Always doing some kind of community work, always studying. She and her roommate had frequent gatherings on weekends, usually just an intimate group of friends, some music, some liquor, some weed. She and I would somehow end up on the porch talking …well she did most of the talking. I didn’t exactly have anything interesting going on in my life. But I remember admiring her passion. She studied sociology and seemed to always be on fire about some issue or other. I always thought she looked beautiful, but strong women are a weakness of mine. I remember how attracted to her I felt. I never asked her out.

Fast forward a few years when I return visit friends and learn she’s available. Surprised was an understatement. I literally couldn’t believe someone like her wasn’t steady with someone else. I asked her out the next time I saw her and she said yes. The rest, as they say, is history. Even though we’d always had good chemistry, the day we turned it into romance was the day my heart went nova for her. I don’t even remember who I was before that day and I know it’s true for her too.

Love is a transformative experience. We’re never the same afterward. In a way, its transcendent too because the world becomes a very different place when we’re in love. It’s easier to find meaning in everything. There’s part of you that has to become absorbed in the other person, things you let fall away willingly because you suddenly understand that something else matters much more. You begin to hope everyone finds something like this and you begin to believe it’s a crime if anyone could live and never experience it. You realize how necessary love is as a cosmic ingredient, an element more powerful. The only reason it’s not on the periodic table is because it’s not matter, but it’s energy and existence are felt everywhere …when you’re in love.

If you’ve never experienced it, I’d say it’s not too difficult to find. I’ve learned that love isn’t so much about the other person as it is about you. What we want, how we see things, what we’re willing to accept. It’s not something that happens or which is found, but something that you discover has been there all along. Or at least that’s my experience with it.

Have you ever been in love?

Scree Tags: #love #romance

2 thoughts on “Talking ‘Bout Love

  1. This was a beautiful post, sir! You’re lucky to have one another if this is the sort of love and respect you channel into your daily routines together.

    Not to post spoilers, but my situation is going fairly well too. 🙂

  2. I envy you. I envy anyone in that position, because it’s been a very long time since I had those feelings for anyone. I know part of it is due to having had a downward spiral that I am just now climbing out of. Another part of it is knowing what I want, and now purposely waiting for the right circumstances to come about rather than forcing it with anyone who doesn’t fit into that ideal. I know it will happen eventually, I’ve just stopped worrying about love for the time being.

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